Baxter Nominated for National Black Folks Spokesman

After what has seemed like an eternity, the elections for the next National Black Folks Spokesman are underway.  The advertised deadline for consideration is June 30, 2015.  The actual deadline is December 31, 2015 due to the melanin-related phenomenon called CP Time.  The first nominee in the running to replace the tandem of Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson is Ben Baxter of Alabama.  His campaign strategy is listed below.

Baxter puts his hat in the ring for 2016!

Baxter puts his hat in the ring for 2016!

As the next National Black Folks Spokesman, the Honorable Reverend Doctor Ben Baxter Jr will make a two-faced effort to complete the following promises.

  • He will speak for you whenever a white friend or coworker asks a question as simple as “How are things going?”
  • He will magically show up whenever “thug” is used by a white person to describe a young black male.  In addition, he will show up with an entire HBCU marching band if previously mentioned white person becomes frustrated and uses the n-word.
  • He will retweet anything that you send to him that has the hashtag #blacklivesmatter or #handsupdontshoot included.
  • He will always hog television time from relevant victims of abuse or harassment by shucking and jiving.
  • He will give the impression that his services are free, but he will eventually charge you a minimum of $25,000 just for showing up.
  • He will inevitably disappear whenever your situation gets tough.  But again, he’s going to charge you that $25,000 minimum fee no matter what.  He cannot stress that enough.

God Bless America, Black Jesus, and President Obama.

This message was brought to you by Citizens for Baxter, Incorporated.  Ben Baxter was not affiliated with this message at all.

The Truth about Immigration

Immigrants bring more crime. Wrong. Native-born American men between 18-39 are five times more likely to be incarcerated than immigrants in the same demographic. Numerous reputable studies have shown that the problem of crime in the United States is not caused or even aggravated by immigrants, regardless of their legal status.

Immigrants are taking our jobs. Wrong. CNN reports that immigrants are twice as likely to start businesses as U.S.-born citizens and that immigrants create 28% of all new businesses. Moreover, some immigrants work jobs Americans simply do not want. They are farm workers, janitors, chambermaids, busboys, dishwashers, gardeners, nannies, and household domestics. Those are not the careers most Americans seek. The “good jobs” they do “steal” are just because they’re better in that fieldnot because they’re immigrants (see below).

We need to secure the border first before tackling immigration reform.  Well for starters, the net migration from Mexico has practically fallen to zero. The federal government has spent more money on immigration enforcement ($18 billion) than they have on FBI, Secret Service, Drug Enforcement Administration, U.S. Marshalls, and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives combined ($14.4 million). The government also spends about 15 times more on immigration enforcement than it did in the mid-1980s, adjusted for inflation. There are more than 20,000 border patrol agents stationed along the border now. So the border is quite secure right now. Lastly, roughly 40% of undocumented immigrants enter the US legally and overstay their visas.

America doesn’t want immigrants here. Well, quite the contrary, most Americans don’t want to kick them all out. In a Fox News Poll, it showed that 74% of the people they polled were in favor of allowing the 11 million illegal immigrant currently in the country to remain in the country and eventually years down the road qualify for U.S. citizenship, as long as they meet certain requirements like paying back taxes, learning English, and passing a background check.

Obama is giving the country to the illegal immigrants. This could be challenged. The Obama Administration has deported as many illegal immigrants in one term as the Bush Administration did in two. In fact, Obama is on track to deport more people than the US did from 1892-1997. As stated earlier, the Obama Administration has put many resources in stopping illegals.

Illegal aliens don’t contribute to the U.S. economy and they don’t pay taxes. I’m pretty sure everybody in this country pays taxes when they purchase anything. Most undocumented immigrants live in Texas and Florida. Neither state has a state income tax. When it comes to federal income tax—well, I believe we should be more concerned about the $305 billion revenue lost due to tax evasion for current US citizens.

Immigrants don’t contribute anything to the country. Currently, one in six college-educated adults in the US was born abroad. There are roughly 35 million immigrants ages 25 and older in America. Of those, 28% had a bachelor’s degree or higher (compared to 29% of American adults 25 and older). Immigrants represent nearly 28% of physicians, more than 31% of computer programmers, and over 47% of medical scientists.

The Truth. We need immigration reform YESTERDAY! This country was founded upon immigration. Keep the American vision alive by demanding that we become the Land of Opportunity again!