This was a big hump to get over when my wife and I were engaged and getting married. And I’m sure this discussion has caused a lot of heartburn for other couples as well—new relationships or old reliables. Although you are not extrinsically valuing one set of in-laws over the other (or one spouse’s career over the other), intrinsically it tends to feel that way during the heat of battle… I mean… discussion. But maybe this decision can get easier!
A few years ago, National Institutes of Health performed a 26-year longitudinal study that showed when a husband reported having a close relationship with his wife’s parents, the couple’s risk of divorce decreased by 20%. Conversely, when a wife reported having a close relationship with her husband’s parents, the couple’s risk of divorce increased by 20%.
I’m not a marriage expert by any means, but if I wanted to statistically safeguard a friend’s marriage, I would automatically tell him to submit and figure out a way to live near his wife’s parents. There is a lot of benefit from a husband modeling what humbleness and submission looks like.
This will not solve all your marriage problems (you’ll have plenty). But maybe it will help a little.
Do you agree? Should you live near your wife’s parents as a rule of thumb?